All posts for the month April, 2013

Guilty Pleasures

So, I guess I have a confession to make (after all, that’s what my blog’s name is about). I watch Glee. I enjoy the ludicrous story lines, I enjoy its all-inclusion mentality, I enjoy the razor sharp put-downs, and of course I enjoy watching Darren Criss be just lovely. I love this show. Recently they made an episode based around the theme of guilty pleasures, so I guess you could say that Glee is my guilty pleasure.

That’s all fine and dandy, except… I just don’t buy into the idea of guilty pleasures. Why do we have to be ashamed of liking things? When I like something, it makes me feel happy, and I want to share it with the world. I shouldn’t have to hide it because certain people have set aside in their minds what is ‘cool’ and what isn’t. It seems like half the people out there are just trying to out-hipster one another, and they judge people who like popular things as if they’re just stupid. I can’t be the only person who thinks this is just ridiculous. We should live in a world where liking things is cool, and no one should have to be ‘guilty’ of enjoying things that other people don’t. There’s already enough hate in the world, why do we have to add to it over little things like television and music tastes?

So do something crazy. Stop hiding the things that you like. Screw people who judge you because of it. I’ll still like you :)

blaine gif

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by Conscientious Ambitioner on April 28, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Conscientious Ambitioner on April 28, 2013

https://confessionsofanintrovertblog.wordpress.com/2013/04/28/guilty-pleasures/

What do you say to taking chances?

“What do you say to taking chances? What do you say to jumping off the edge?” – Celine Dion

If I told you to think of a scary experience, what do you think of? Going on a roller coaster? Jumping out of an aeroplane? Visiting a haunted house? For me, aside from starting a blog post with Celine Dion lyrics, it was starting university. Some people jump at the chance to start afresh in a big new city with like-minded people. To be honest, in theory it sounded brilliant to me too. But then it was time to leave, and it was simply terrifying.

I arrived at about 12 o’clock on the Sunday, unpacked and introduced myself to my new flatmates. What I discovered, however, was that all of my flatmates had arrived the day before and spent the night together, so had already bonded and made friendships. So about 5 minutes in to meeting them, I was already the outsider. Add to that the fact I’m awkward anyways and I just felt completely out of place. From reading my earlier posts, you may that know I live in a house with one girl and four boys. Four extremely confident boys who will tell you their opinion in a heartbeat. I’m a shy person who doesn’t know what to say at the best of times, so it was fair to say the first couple of weeks of uni were hell to me. I found it difficult fitting in, and I spent most of my time alone in my room because it was the only place where I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not.

Here’s the thing though… No matter how much I hated it and I how unhappy I was, I stuck with it. I’ve made some friends now, and I’m finally starting to feel happier again. So starting university was the thing I was most scared of, and guess what? I survived. Writing this has made me think of so many things I was frightened of doing in the past, and looking back they almost seem like I was worrying over nothing at all. That’s sort of what I hope this story will become. I hope to become more confident in myself, so one day I’ll be able to look back at my freshers experience and be able to say, “Why was I even scared?”

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by Conscientious Ambitioner on April 21, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Music, Quotes, University Life
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Posted by Conscientious Ambitioner on April 21, 2013

https://confessionsofanintrovertblog.wordpress.com/2013/04/21/what-do-you-sa/

Excuse me, I didn’t mean to stare…

Reading the title, you might think that I’ve become the master of the pick-up line. Sadly, I am not that smooth (as shocking as that may seem). No, I am talking about the awkwardness of staring at someone you don’t mean to. Do you ever accidentally stare at someone, and then realise that they are looking back at you? This has happened a lot to me recently, and this has caused me more trouble than you’d think. Why? you might ask. I’ll tell you why… It’s because it keeps happening with the same person.

The problem is, after the first incident, this guy keeps staring at me. When I first stared at him, it was completely by accident, and now we’re stuck in a staring competition that I just can’t explain. Sometimes when I look up, I feel him looking at me, and because everyone sits in the same places in our lectures, it’s not hard for him to find me. And when I see him staring, it’s like I’m looking back. We’re stuck in a vicious cycle. I’m not attracted to him, and I doubt he’s attracted to me. I think now we’re just locked in a battle of will; who will give up first? 

Or maybe I’m just being paranoid, or maybe I’m overthinking things. But tell me honestly, what’s the fun in that?

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by Conscientious Ambitioner on April 19, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Conscientious Ambitioner on April 19, 2013

https://confessionsofanintrovertblog.wordpress.com/2013/04/19/excuse-me-i-didnt-mean-to-stare/

What even is an introvert anyway?

Introversion is a funny thing, and a little bit difficult to define. I promised myself not to be clichéd here and start this post off with a definition from the dictionary (as a side note, I don’t think I even have a decent dictionary, so I’d be relying on Google’s finest). I’m not sure what introversion means to other people, so here’s what I’ve learned from my experiences.

I am an introvert. This does not mean I hate everyone, and it definitely doesn’t mean that I want to spend every waking second by myself. Part of it means that I feel uncomfortable around new people, as small talk is something I struggle with (which means I hate hairdressers more than anything!). This doesn’t mean I don’t want to make new friends. It just means that I’m shy and awkward around new people and struggle to think of things to say. I don’t mean to be like this, but I worry about saying the wrong things, and a lot of the time it’s just easier to stay quiet. As a result, I have a small but incredibly close circle of friends, but for me this is perfect.

The other part of introversion means that while other people get their energy from spending time with people, for me this takes energy (I realise I worded this very badly, so here’s a comic that helps explain it). While I can quite happily spend time with people, I need time by myself afterwards, and is that really so bad?

So, this is me. An introvert. I’m not really that much different from everyone else. All it means is that I can happily spend a load of time by myself, and that once you get to know me, I’ll be a great friend to you. I’m not a creepy loner. I’m not trying to hide anything. I’m just trying to be happy.

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by Conscientious Ambitioner on April 11, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Conscientious Ambitioner on April 11, 2013

https://confessionsofanintrovertblog.wordpress.com/2013/04/11/what-even-is-an-introvert-anyway/

And now whatever way our stories end…

“And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have re-written mine, by being my friend” – Wicked

I’ve been thinking lately about the power of friendship (I realise this sounds very ominous, but stick with me on this!). Sure, true love is what people are always on a quest to find, but what about the perfect friendship? Someone who has your back no matter what, someone who you can laugh with, and talk to about anything in the world. Why does the saying ‘just friends’ even exist? Friendship is amazing, there’s no ‘just’ about it. Sure, if you’re madly in love with them and want to have their babies, then friendship might seem like second best. But honestly, could you imagine having a soul mate who wasn’t also your best friend? That’s the power of friendship. But there’s so much more to friendship than friendship with a lover. Where would we be in the world if we didn’t have friends to discuss the small things like the latest episode of Doctor Who, or the bigger things like the stress of a job or family problems. A true friendship has no agenda, and you’re there for each other in touch times when a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband might not be.

And don’t even get me started on the ‘friend zone’. If you really like someone, tell them; the worst they can say is no. If they say no, you can move on with your life. Also, I feel it very necessary to add that just because you are nice to someone, it doesn’t mean they owe you anything. Men that claim to be ‘nice guys’, but claim a girl is ‘friend zoning’ by not giving them sex need to sort their lives out. This does not make you a nice person. This does not even make you her friend. She does not owe you anything, she owes you nothing more than any of the guys you are friends with. Tell her if you like her. If she doesn’t know how you feel, you can’t blame her. Friendship is a beautiful thing, and it shouldn’t be ruined.

As Sandy, the male nanny in Friends, once said, ‘What’s the one kind of boat that can never ever sink? A frieeeendship.’ :)

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by Conscientious Ambitioner on April 5, 2013  •  Quote  •  Permalink
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Posted by Conscientious Ambitioner on April 5, 2013

https://confessionsofanintrovertblog.wordpress.com/2013/04/05/and-now-whatev/